I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
