it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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