I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
