I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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