She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I looked at my own cervix.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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