playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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