I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize