some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
