Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
