The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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