roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
