she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize