i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
