Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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