i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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