yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
