I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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