it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
