why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
