Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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