They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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