im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
