i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
