i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
