I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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