Soap is not a condiment
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
