let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
