I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
