Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
