i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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