do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
