P.S. I can't hear my feet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
