you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
