This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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