there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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