i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
