Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
