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Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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