Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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