So drunk its hurt
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
