his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
