I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
