the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
