I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
North Korea, Best Korea!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
