She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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