Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
