she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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