it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The struggles of a small town man whore
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
