I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Houston, we have a blender
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
