He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
