some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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