I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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