I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
