Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
