Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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