he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
