can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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