I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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