i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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