he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
