when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
