Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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