I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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