her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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