I'm jealous of your bromance
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
