it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
