How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
